Today, I turn 20. I’d always assumed it would feel surreal, but I woke up feeling remarkably underwhelmed. I spent this morning reflecting on the past 20 years and I noticed a few things, some of which I’ve compiled into short essays below.
hardship is overrated*
*if you don’t take it right
Over the last few years, I’ve had the privilege of going through a few really difficult events. Prevailing wisdom says “everything’s a lesson,” or “every bad thing is secretly a gift,” etc. People seem to love that. It apparently “builds character.”
It can; but I’ve watched the same hardship make one person sharper and another person bitter, and I don’t think the hardship gets to decide which. That part’s on the person. The event itself is neutral. It just sits there. What you do in the months/years/decades after is the whole game.
I was listening to Theo Von’s podcast with Mike Tyson when I was shaving out of all things, and a line really hit me: “god broke me before he crowned me,” and I really want to have had the life experience to be able to say that when I’m 60.
the deep end
One of the best things to ever happen to me was Twitter, and by extension Orchid. Not many people know that I first reached out to Nizzy for an internship I was rejected, but I was a persistent fucker and a short while later, I got this message:
And so I became the newest intern at Orchid, which was 0.email then. I wasn’t the best, i made a lot of mistakes, and I pissed a lot of people off. I also worked entirely for free for around a month! Many other people around me would’ve never done that, and though it was really hard, I threw myself in the deep end and told myself that it MUST pay off eventually.
That first month was incredibly exciting and I got a taste of what I now think is going to be the rest of my life: building. But it would’ve never happened if I didn’t throw myself in the deep end. Funny enough, Sonith and his cold-dm movement on twitter was the catalyst for all of this, and to him I’m incredibly thankful!
private victories
We live in a weird quasi-triumphalist society that seems bent on showing off. The LinkedIn microcosm is, on a large scale, what our society looks like today. I always hated that because the thing about the wins that actually changed me is that none of them would make a good tweet. And even then, publicizing wins always has a minimizing effect on them.
Public victories are loud, they feel amazing, but they’re mostly luck wearing a costume. We learned this really early on at Orchid, so we started building in private, and though we felt it could’ve been the wrong move I now am so glad we did that. Our wins were entirely ours, and we started becoming incredibly thoughtful about what we were building instead of chasing trends and bullshit. Nobody can give them to you, but most importantly, nobody can take them away.
The same thing applies to people, I think. Building in private taught me to live more in private too, and I stopped narrating my life to an audience that didn’t really care, and started just… having it. It’s hard to explain, but I found that not conforming has made me a lot more intentional about what I do.
people I’m grateful for
on the off chance you’re still reading this and you’ve had an impact on my life, you’ll probably find your name here
nizzy, adam, dani, ghinwa, jad, sonith, angie, rudolph, danny, ralph, ryan, rayan, iman, ahmet, rashid, sherkhan, sudais, karl, kj, sabine, garry tan, paul graham, sophia, zaid, joy, dika, furqan, emu, peter, tala, zoya, milo, theo, rich, maya, dilshod, arlan, paul, eduardo, moe, christos, laila, yasa, adam, wassim, salman, douglas, amy, fasial, minh, abner, celine, cas, zeina, marco, jana, yasser, mits, jacob, fernando, dana, dakari, daniel, mehdi, kelly, nour, michael, fouad, anas, sami, yasma, milad, sami, mariam, outdoor boys, montezemolo, sargeant hill, mark carney, cryz, rodha, rowana, oshin, ms. zeina, roy lee, kyle kashuv, alex, alexis, camille, hatoon, jennah, omar, waaris, baylor, cory, henry, hayden, jonah, mantra, aaron, aiden, josh miller, ali debow, sky, bilal, jessica, sara, sarah, alec, shamdoo, zayn, james, layla, michael, rania, daniel, malik, andrew, tariq, ryan, idris, david, hana, john, dalia, matthew, leen, chris, mira, sam, soraya, ben, yara, jack, dunya, luke, lina, will, sahar, tom, talia, nick, rima, alex, mona, joe, amani, paul, dina, mark, salma, peter, nadia, henry, lulu, george, reem, charlie, hiba, jake, aya, max, sana, kyle, lara, sean, joud, evan, anwar, dylan, ziad, eric, taha, scott, fares, brian, sela, kevin, raed, justin, nael, adam, tania, greg, owen, cole, ethan, noah, liam, jacob, tyler, brandon, aaron, eric, josh, nathan, simon, robert, steven, patrick, dean, craig, ross, neil, gary, philip and so, so many more.
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